Last year I attended a cousin's wedding and blogged about the emotions that go into each meal made at home (refer to Rasoi). This year after another cousin's wedding, I thought I would briefly write about the various emotions that have gone into this one.
With the majority of my mom's family (which is HUGE by the way) under one roof, it was expected that there would be a lot of chaos, but what I wasn't expecting was the numerous and sometimes contradicting feelings that were felt by most people.
I had so much fun spending time with and getting to know many of my cousins and aunties/uncles (some of which I had never met or knew about). I think we all learnt a lot about each other and our family (history). Hanging out with family members who are in your age group and have the same interests will result in a lot of laughing (sometimes uncontrollably), lack of sleep (due to conversations/chats going on til 4 in the morning) and the feeling that you have missed out on so much by not knowing them until now.
Seeing your grandma reminisce with her sisters and having to leave the room when you mom and her cousins are laughing and joking away (so loudly) explains a lot about their upbringing and what their childhoods would have been like. It was awesome to see how close they still are even after all this time (despite not seeing each other for decades).
However the feeling (not common for all families) we experienced that was like a tick eating away at the back of our minds (and hearts) was the feeling of loss. This became obvious when my mum, grandma and uncle were taking a photo with my cousin (the groom) in the mehendi/haldi ceremony and had to hide their tears behind forced smiles. It was also (almost embarrassingly) obvious when the nikkah (muslim marriage) was confirmed by my cousin. It is not common for the groom's family to be upset or in tears, but at this point every member of our family had tears streaming down. The loss we felt was that of our fathers, uncles, brothers and sons who were no longer with us - the people who would have loved to have been at this event.
This wedding has been bittersweet to say the least - incredibly sweet because of all the fun we all had with each other and being able to welcome a new addition to our family (my new bhabi [sister-in-law] who I can't wait to get to know). But bitter because all throughout the festivities we were reminded of all that we have lost.
Alex Haley said "In every conceivable manner, family is the link to our past and the bridge to our future". The last two weeks have shown me why family is so important and that Alex knew what he was talking about.